Dear Amy: About two years ago, I messaged “Bradley” on social media. (We’re both gay.)
I complimented him on some pictures he posted.
kAmw6 2?DH6C65 >6[ H9:49 =65 E@ DE625J >6DD28:?8[ H9:49 E96? =65 E@ A9@?6 42==D] (92E :>AC6DD65 >6 H2D 9@H @7E6? 96 E@@< E96 :?:E:2E:G6] x’5 D6?5 2 >@C?:?8 2?5 27E6C?@@? >6DD286] %96 42==D 4@F=5 8@ EH@ @C E9C66 9@FCD[ @? 2 52:=J 32D:D]k^Am
Recommended for you
kAmw6 E@=5 >6 96’D D92C65 >@C6 23@FE 9:D =:76 H:E9 >6 E92? 2?J@?6 6=D6]k^Am
kAmp7E6C D6G6C2= >@?E9D @7 2=>@DE 52:=J 42==D 2?5 >6DD28:?8 x E@=5 9:> E92E x =@G6 9:>] w6’D D2:5 E96 D2>6 E@ >6] w6 C62==J 92D 364@>6 A2CE @7 >J =:76] (6 92G6 E2=<65 23@FE >66E:?8]k^Am
kAm#646?E=J[ 96 8@E 2 ;@3 @FE (6DE[ H9:49 >62?D 2 >@G6 7C@> 9:D 9@>6 DE2E6 :? E96 t2DE]k^Am
kAmx =:G6 :? E96 |:5H6DE]k^Am
kAm}@H >J :?D64FC:E:6D 2C6 <:4<:?8 :?] %96C6 2C6 8@:?8 E@ 36 3:8 492?86D :? 9:D =:76[ H:E9 2 >@G6 2?5 2 ?6H ;@3] x 42? :>28:?6 9:> >66E:?8 :? A6CD@? @E96C 8FJD 96’D 366? :? 4@?E24E H:E9]k^Am
kAmx 42>6 :?E@ 9:D =:76 5FC:?8 2 =F== 3642FD6 @7 E96 A2?56>:4]k^Am
kAmw6’D 2DDFC65 >6 E92E H6’== DE2J :? E@F49] w6 D2JD x >62? 2 =@E E@ 9:> 2?5 96’D 566A=J 2AAC64:2E:G6 7@C 2== x’G6 5@?6 E@ 96=A 2?5 DFAA@CE 9:>]k^Am
kAm|J 762C :D E92E x’== 6G6?EF2==J 36 =67E E@ E96 D:56] %9:D 92AA6?65 @?46 367@C6 :? >J =:76[ 2?5 :E 9FCE 566A=J]k^Am
kAmx’> ECJ:?8 E@ 7246 E96 :562 E92E E9:?8D 4=:4<65 H:E9 FD 7@C 2 C62D@? 2?5 D62D@?]k^Am
kAmw@H 5@ x 92?5=6 E9:Dn x H2?E 9:> E@ 36 92AAJ]k^Am
kAmw@H 5@ x =6E 8@ 2?5 ?@E 4=:?8 @C 5F>A >J 762CD @?E@ 9:>nk^Am
kAmkDEC@?8m— &?DFC6k^DEC@?8mk^Am
kAmkDEC@?8ms62C &?DFC6ik^DEC@?8m *@F 92G6 56G6=@A65 2 DEC@?8 2EE249>6?E E@ “qC25=6J[” 2?5 =:<6 2== DEC@?8 E:6D[ E96 2EE249>6?E :ED6=7 42? 36 D@>6E9:?8 @7 2 EC2A[ 3642FD6 :E 42? <66A J@F :? A=246[ AC6G6?E:?8 J@F 7C@> 7@C>:?8 2?5 6?;@J:?8 @E96C C6=2E:@?D9:AD 2?5 AFCDF:ED]k^Am
kAmqC25=6J :D E96 5@>:?2?E A6CD@? :? J@FC C6=2E:@?D9:A[ 2?5 E96 =24< @7 32=2?46 :D H9J J@F 766= :?D64FC6[ ?@H]k^Am
kAm*@F D9@F=5 4@?E:?F6 E@ 2DDF>6 E92E 2D 9:D =:76 492?86D[ J@FC C6=2E:@?D9:A H:E9 9:> H:== 2=D@ 492?86] *@F D66> E@ F?56CDE2?5 E92E :?D64FC:EJ >:89E AFD9 J@FC =@G6 @3;64E 2H2J] p?5 J6E J@F ECF=J ?665 E@ F?56CDE2?5 E92E J@FC AC:>2CJ =@J2=EJ >FDE 36 E@ J@FCD6=7[ E@ J@FC @H? 962=E9[ 2?5 E@ J@FC AC@8C6DD E9C@F89 E9:D H@C=5] %9:D AC@8C6DD H@?’E 92AA6? H96? J@F 2C6 2?I:@FD 2?5 9FCE:?8]k^Am
kAm*@F 92G6 A@CEC2J65 qC25=6J 2D 2 4@>A6==:?8 A=2J6C H9@ =:<6=J 92D 7@C>65 DEC@?8 2EE249>6?ED E@ @E96C >6?] *@F <?@H E92E :7 96 C62==J H2?E65 E@ >66E J@F :? A6CD@?[ 96 H@F=5] WxD E9:D 2 “C@>2?46 D42>n” *@F D9@F=5 4@?D:56C E9:D A@DD:3:=:EJ]Xk^Am
kAm%96 H2J E@ 2AAC@249 E9:D A2:?7F= F?46CE2:?EJ :D E@ 56E6C>:?6 E@ 6IA2?5 J@FC @H? H@C=5[ E@ 56G6=@A 277:C>2E:G6 :?E6C6DED @FED:56 @7 E9:D C6=2E:@?D9:A[ E@ :?:E:2E6 4@?E24E =6DD @7E6?[ 2?5 E@ EC2?D:E:@? 7C@> =@G6 @3;64E E@ 7C:6?5]k^Am
kAmkDEC@?8ms62C p>Jik^DEC@?8m x’> :? >J 62C=J a_D 2?5 =:G:?8 2E 9@>6] x’> A2J:?8 >J A2C6?ED C6?E[ 3FE E96 >@?6J x A2J 5@6D?’E :?4=F56 2?JE9:?8 6=D6 – ;FDE E96 C@@>]k^Am
kAm%9:D 5@6D?’E D66> 72:C E@ >6[ 2?5 x’5 C62==J 2AAC64:2E6 962C:?8 H92E J@F E9:?< @7 E9:D]k^Am
kAmk6>m— #6?E6C 2E w@>6k^6>mk^Am
kAmkDEC@?8ms62C #6?E6Cik^DEC@?8m *@F’G6 ;FDE 56D4C:365 … C6?E] (96? J@F C6?E[ J@F A2J E96 @H?6C @7 E96 5H6==:?8 7@C E96 C@@7 @G6C J@FC 9625] %92E’D 2==]k^Am
kAm(96? J@F’C6 2 49:=5[ J@FC A2C6?ED AC@G:56 2== @7 E96 6IEC2D[ 3FE 7@C 25F=ED[ 7@@5[ 4@@<:?8[ 4=62?:?8 2?5 =2F?5CJ D6CG:46D 2C6 H92E 92AA6?D 2E 2 9@E6=]k^Am
kAm~?46 J@F 2446AE E9:D C62=:EJ[ J@F D9@F=5 5@ D@>6 C6D62C49 E@ D66 :7 J@F 2C6 23=6 E@ 277@C5 C6?E 2?5 =:G:?8 6IA6?D6D 6=D6H96C6] *@F >2J 7:?5 E92E — 6G6? H:E9@FE E96 6IEC2D — J@F 2C6 36?67:E:?8 7C@> E96 =@H6C 4@DE @7 =:G:?8 2E 9@>6]k^Am
kAm|2?J J@F?8 A6@A=6 FD6 E9:D EC2?D:E:@? A6C:@5 2E 9@>6 2D 2 H2J E@ 288C6DD:G6=J D2G6 >@?6J E@H2C5 E96 9:896C 4@DE @7 =:G:?8 6=D6H96C6]k^Am
kAmkDA2? 4=2DDlQAC:?E0EC:>QmkDEC@?8ms62C p>Jik^DEC@?8m x H2D :?EC:8F65 3J E96 BF6DE:@? 7C@> “yF58>6?E2= %66?[” H9@ :D 2 9:89 D49@@= 8:C= G6CJ 4@?46C?65 23@FE 96C 92CD9 2DD6DD>6?ED @7 96C A66CD’ 4=@E9:?8]k^DA2?mk^Am
kAmkDA2? 4=2DDlQAC:?E0EC:>Qmx H2D D9@4<65 3J E9:D =:?6 @7 J@FCDi “%96 H@C5D J@F FD6 E@ 56D4C:36 @E96C 8:C=D W“D=FE” 2?5 “H9@C6”X 2C6 CF56 2?5 D6I:DE[ H9:=6 E96 H@C5D J@F FD6 E@ 56D4C:36 3@JD 2C6 >F49 =6DD @776?D:G6] %9:D :D 2? 6I2>A=6 @7 9@H >:D@8J?J 92D A6C>62E65 @FC 4F=EFC6…]”k^DA2?mk^Am
kAmkDA2? 4=2DDlQAC:?E0EC:>Qm%92?< J@F 7@C A@:?E:?8 @FE 9@H H6’G6 :?E6C?2=:K65 E9:D] xE 5:5?’E @44FC E@ >6 F?E:= x C625 :E]k^DA2?mk^Am
kAmkDA2? 4=2DDlQAC:?E0EC:>Qmk6>m— %92?<7F=k^6>mk^DA2?mk^Am
kAmkDA2? 4=2DDlQAC:?E0EC:>QmkDEC@?8ms62C %92?<7F=ik^DEC@?8m }@ @?6 D9@F=5 36 FD:?8 E9:D =2?8F286[ 2?5 x 2AAC64:2E65 E9:D E66?’D 9@?6DEJ :? C6A@CE:?8 E92E D96 5@6D]k^DA2?mk^Am
kAmkDA2? 4=2DDlQAC:?E0EC:>Qmk^DA2?mk^Am
